How to: Do Dishes like a College Student

1. Put dirty dishes into a pile, preferably in your bedroom or living room.
2. After 1-2 days, move said dirty dishes to the bathroom.
3. Check facebook. Check your email. Check the weather.
4. Write your essay. Take a nap. Go to class. Do your problem set.
5. Come back and notice that you still have dishes to do.
6. Repeat steps 3-5 until you realize that you are completely out of clean bowls and spoons.
7.  Do your laundry. Fold your laundry.
8. Start to soak the dishes. In the meantime, revert to plastic utensils and paper plates.
9. 24 hours later, the dishes are sufficiently soaked. Proceed to step 10 when ready.
10. Check facebook. Check your email. Check the weather.
11. Get ready to wash dishes.
12. Realize you have no dish soap.
13. Check facebook. Check your email. Check the weather.
14. Do your laundry. Fold your laundry. (Because it's probably been at least 2 weeks since you last did your laundry.)
15. Put on sweatpants and shoes. Go to the student store and shell out $5 for crappy dish soap.
16. Return to your room. Check facebook. Check your email. Check the weather.
17. Eat cereal using your last plastic fork and last paper plate.
18. Wait at least one day to proceed to step 19.
19. Get ready to wash dishes.
20. Wash one dish.
21. Check facebook. Check your email. Watch a YouTube video.
22. Repeat steps 20 and 21 until you have enough dishes to last 24 hours.
23. Wonder why dishes take so long.

What's your least favorite chore?

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